mumble

anxiety?

or stress...

but from what?

this is why sometimes i hate the fact that i'm born a female...bet guys never have multiple thoughts all at once...heck,i don't even know what i'm thinking about and still i'm stressed!...
what's that word?..runsing...forgot what it's called in english...this is how far i've come from muet band5...really wan la..fml..
sometimes...i feel that i care too much of what other people thinks...can't help it though..it's a habit that i'll bring along with me to my next life...i may die because of it,'cause i'm never at peace,worrying 'bout all this shit...
whenever i'm not thinking about what other thinks about...i'l think about my phobias and how i've failed yet again to overcome it...
why the hell was i not born in venus????? it's torture living on earth...
being stalked by a gigantic reptile whose tail can come off on cue made matters worse...
argh...hate.hate.hate.
is it the water? it must be the water,messing up my body and soul...
can someone please check the water supply here?!??!
fasting month had never really affected my life...until now...
...effin lizard hiding in my room...
had drumstick size M today...and that's about all the happiness i have in my life today...
if i'd known i'll feel horrible even when my house is only 15minutes away i would've rejected usm and wait for upu...where they can send me far far away...at least it'll be more logical for me to emo once in a while...i can't emo here without people sneering at me,thinking 'wth...your not leaving your island and yet you're whining about how sad and kesian you are?..you should die..'
...almost dinner time again...don't feel like eating...but how can i not eat when there's fencing prac coming up at 8pm?...i'm already weak athletically,can't slack off anymore...
what's the real problem with me if my feet start getting cold randomly and my stomach has that weird,pre-diarrhoea feeling and i lost my appetite?
..sigh..better go stuff myself with something edible before i faint from exercising beyond my capability...
seriously,i can feel my body age...
i miss the time when i was 17...