attended PPB pre-camp (hellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll-owh.)

i came back from my Buddhist pre-camp with a bunch of new friends, among them there are two with fruity nicknames.
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did lots of art,
ate lots of vegetarian food,
learnt to meditate a little,
blurred through chantings,
spent about 72hours under the air-con,
gotten quite little amount of sleep but hey,
it was fun.
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my feet got very dirty most of the time though...
they feel dry too...
prolly gonna put lots of lotion tonight.
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XD
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*update*
i've always felt like of envious of Christians when they say their prayers,especially during meal times...
i liked how nice it is to say grace before eating..
so i took some effort and found some Buddhist prayers(the versions that i can read and understand):
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theravada meal chant:
Wisely reflecting, I use this food not for fun, not for pleasure, not for fattening, not for beautification, but only for the maintenance and nourishment of this body, for keeping it healthy, for helping with the Spiritual Life;
Thinking thus, I will allay hunger without overeating, so that I may continue to live blamelessly and at ease.

avada ke-go-blind!

yo. what's up.

let me introduce you to my favorite shirt in the whole world.

but before that, another creepy picture: ^o^
and another:
end.

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so this is the brand i'm wearing:
the SGGS Band of SMKPSGPPMY*. :P

you can't get it anywhere, it's limited only for members only...

wuhaha.

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it even has a cool design of music instruments on the back....and a HOOD.

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and it's only available in one color combination: red+black+white.(school kahler)

it's my most worn shirt through-out my 7years in SMKPSGPPMY.

through rain or shine...storm or drought...it'll be me, my shirt,my red pants and 40 more members wearing the same thing....on the green green field.

ahhhhh...memories.
love this shirt.

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i still wear them..especially when it's rainy season..

cuddling into my bed under the blankets with it on on a cold stormy night is the best feeling in the world..

so comfy....

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so anyway,

i bought a new purse that day:

i'm not a fan of angry birds myself...don't even play the game...

pig looks retardedly adorable...no?

^^ ...so cute..

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in the last post i've brought up this little mission i gave myself..

about getting some (so not!) lame bag from some kind of (very!) cool shop in Queensbay

....well..

i bought MY BAGGG!!!!!!!
and a bunny. v^o^v
basically i succumbed to the pressure i gave myself (raya mahh...i wanna raya oso kayy) and fought through the traffic jams and no-parking-space episodes and finally reached the mall and grabbed it from the shelves...

it's the last one of it's kind btw...no more stock liao..

hengg~~~~~

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after getting the bag i was pretty much over the moon+sun+milky way...

then i shopped a little with my mum..

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and bought this jacket from Momoe:
original price: RM68.90

after discount: RM20.15

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HHHHHHAAAAAPPPPPYYYYYY!!!!!!! XDDDDDDDDDD

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oh and guess what size it is.

SMALL.

I. FIT. IN. A SMALL-SIZED. JACKET.

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HAPPIIIIIIEEEEEERRRRRRR! XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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i found it hidden in the dump-like basket that you usually see in front of the Momoe shop with the "70%" sign over it.

i have such awesome luck sometimes i swear Buddha loves me a lot.. ^u^

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i now have a new defense mechanism...

if anyone ever pissed me off,

i will put everything i've bought on and go stand in front of the hateful person.

like this:

of course, i'll will also put on my orange shorts with rudolph the red-nose reindeer on them.

make the world go blind.

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oh and i also bought this singlet:
you know..just in case it's a sunny day and i can't wear my neon green jacket to terrorize the honey-bumpkin..

a great strategist i am..sometimes...

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i bought a dress too O.O

can't help myself 'cause i have this new-found interest towards chiffon garments...

looks pretty awesome when i twirl...bounce around...ran up the stairs..down the stairs...hop..

absolutely my favorite fabric-material thingy on clothes...

makes me feel like those dancers on So You Think You Can Dance...

floaty floaty~

(i know this picture makes me look fat in the dress, but mind you, it's the angle of the camera.)

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*SMKPSGPPMY = Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan (Perempuan) St.George, Pulau Pinang, Malaysia.

HAH! XP

drew: sunset

by using Paint, Windows Vista.

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nice boh? :D

made: Small Book G2

by the end of last semester,
i found that my precious notebook i lovingly called Small Book (i just love irony) has only a few empty pages left in it.
obviously not enough to completely fill in anymore notes in the upcoming school term...
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Small Book has been such a good trooper, holding all my notes from all my subjects since Form6..
if there's a competition to choose the best book in the world, i'd vote for it.
heck,i'll crawl through the crowd and burn every other books nominated to crown my Small Book the winner.
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sadly it's time for it to retire from the note-taking scene :(

Small Book <3

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so i bought a new 300-page notebook:

the picture isn't from me,'cause i forgot to take the 'before' picture of my campap notebook :s
i found this photo from google :P
anyway.
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my campap notebook has a story:
it was under-priced,compared to the others of its specific kind..
so i took it up,flip it around..
did a thorough check of the whole thing and compared it with other campaps..
didn't find anything wrong with it.
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so happily i took the cheaper tagged book to the counter and paid for it,
and i was thinking: 'man,this must be my lucky day...i found and bought an RM8.90 book for RM7.00'
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THEN I WENT HOME.
brainstormed for what i can do to incredible-ize my plain-jane notebook.
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a few days later, after coming up with a perfect plan for my book cover,
i opened the book,
flipped it to the first page.
'TU DIA.
the page is inverted.
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apparently so does the next 40pages or so..
ALL INVERTED.
it's like i can use it to write Jawi in the first 40pages...
then it went back to normal.
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my book was flawed +_____________+'
no wonder it's cheaper than the rest.
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so my checking wasn't done completely thoroughly.
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zzzzzz.
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the end.
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alright so i took the flawed fine-line notebook (i dislike using wide-line,it's a waste of my money 'cause i can't write as much as i could on fine-line papers...i'm cheap like that.),
cut up some cardboards that i'd save-up from my many left-over drawing blocks..
stuck them to the flimsy covers of the campap notebook:
and with the aid of my mum's 21st century (not-so) light-weight sewing machine,
i cut up some of my old clothes that i don't wear anymore,
cut them into strips,
and sew them together side by side~
then when i'm done forming one long piece of collage-d fabric,
i run the machine all over the cloth in no particular direction.
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it secures my cloth and provides texture. :)
my plan was to make a rustic-looking book cover..
like it's been used for a long time and looks kind of worn-out.
plus, i'm not the best seamstress on the island,so rustic is the best i can do..
(neat&tidy is over-rated anyway)
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so you'll get this:
then measure the long piece of cloth to the book,
mark the points you need to combine,
sew them up,
cut off the excess cloth and thread,
and slide the cover onto the book and you'll get this:

*satisfied*

see...i have John Lennon on the front,

and Paul McCartney on the back~
(i only know these two guys from the Beatles..don't know what are the names to the other two Beatles...but they're on my cover as well XD)

pocket.

it took me......3+hours to complete the sewing+assembling.
(preparation on the book and strips of cloth were done beforehand)
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that's all about my 2nd Generation Small Book :)))))))
i'mmmmmm READY FOR SCHOOOOOL!!!~~~~~~~
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by the way!
i went shopping with car-won* last sunday,
and i bought stickers! (i also bought two other angrybird merchandises..just sayin')
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and my stickers has Hanguel in it!
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see:

i don't know what most of them says since i can only pronounce Korean words so far,
but i know it's about studying..
'cause i found some words that say "gongbu haja!" and "gongbu saranghe!" ,
which basically meant 'let's study!' and 'i love studying!' respectively...
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and they have one with PERIODIC TABLE too!!!!

the PERIODIC freakin' TABLE of freakin' ELEMENTS yo!

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i love Korea....
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*car-won = inside joke with my frenemy. car-won is her assigned name. :P

baked: macaroon

sorry,no picture available because baker did not do a good enough job to make it visually presentable.

made: plasticine!

flour+salt+cooking oil+water+coloring

=

PLAYYYYYYDOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

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i feel...christmas-y today...

X3

read: Miss Brooke

it's the 'first book' in the Middlemarch novel...don't know if i should call it the Middlemarch series..

i know, i'd told a lot of my friends (that asked me what kind of books i read) that i read non-fiction books, but i do have my days where fiction and fantasy were the only things i would read,

and thus the Charmed,Harry Potter, Diane Wynne Jones and other books with stories of magic and mythical creatures on my bookshelf...

anyway...

Middlemarch isn't one of the more recent books that i'd purchased.

in fact,i had this book for 7 years now,didn't think i'd pick it up until a couple of days ago,'cause apparently it's like one of the must read books in English literature..(i was lost in my random Googling quests again)

who knew i had good taste in books even at a young age of 14! XD

(by the way...i felt like i'm typing in a more formal manner today :s blame the English classics)

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okay so Middlemarch might be the kind of title of a book that we(Malaysian i'd say) don't usually come across when we talk about famous classic novels..

it's actually a long story about feminism,education,political economics and stuff that we don't give a damn until we move out of our family home and grow up.

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i have only read the 1st book of the 8 books in Middlemarch,kind of like the first 'babak' of the whole play,and this is what i know about the story so far:

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there's this 2 sisters in the little village-like place called Middlemarch: Dorothea and Celia Brooke.

they live with their uncle,Mr.Brooke,who was rather stingy,but nevertheless quite well off.

Dorothea is pretty,confident,impatient,and like to speak her mind whenever she's in a discussion...not something young ladies(they're not yet 20) at the time should behave like...

people say she's too much to handle,but those who knew her personally would say she's interesting.

then there is Celia,Dorothea's younger sister.

she's more ladylike,though not as pretty as Dorothea.

quiet and agreeable most of the time,but she has this secret hatred towards her sister for her loudness and all...although sometimes she admires Dorothea's tenacity.

so all in all, the people of Middlemarch would say that if a man is finding for a wife and has to pick between them,Celia would be the better choice than the elder Miss Brooke.

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then came this two other character: Sir James Chettam and Mr.Edward Casaubon.

Chettam is young,rich,and to me,quite tolerant.

Casaubon is about middle-age, has money also but not as rich and high profile as Chettam i think, and more knowledgable as he's a scholar.

now,

both these men are bachelors.

Chettam is more up front that he wants to have Dorothea is his wife(hasn't proposed though),

but Dorothea finds him too boring...(if SinYong is reading this:Chettam is too much of a 'kuai kia' guy)

everything Dorothea says Chettam would agree with her,sometimes he's even say things that you don't know what to reply him with (now this i know how frustrating it is).

everything Chettam does,Dorothea hates, except this one project that Chettam proposed to Dorothea,which was to build some cottages on his land(or something) that finally extinguished some of the hatred Dorothea has for him...

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okay now about Casaubon.

his name too long lah,so i'll address him as Ed...short and sweet.

Ed's old...27years older than Dorothea.

but he has all this knowledge and experience from his travels and manuscripts he made about sciences,Greek,Latin etc..

and this has attracted Dorothea to him,'cause Dorothea is thirsty for knowledge.

she realizes that she know very little of the world and wants to learn the truth about things,feel what it feels like to be one of those men who knows what exactly is going on in the world and stuff.

so she's attracted to him,she's attracted to her, finally,with Mr.Brooke's consent sent her a letter to propose.

i find his letter too irrelevant,'cause he wrote one full essay filled with words so deep i don't even bother to search up the meaning because there are too many of them,like 80% of the 'letter'....

all that words just to say:i know i'm old and ugly,but will you marry me?

like..swt. =='''''

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and Dorothea's reaction was weird anyway..she wasn't even jumping with joy or whatever a girl should react when a guy she like proposed to her...all i know is she's glad Ed proposed and she said yes lah,which,literally crushed Chettam's heart.

but Celia was apparently in love with Chettam so maybe they'll get together somewhere in the story later.

Chettam pulak finds Celia boring though...hmmmmmm.

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and so the not-so-in-love birds got married in 6weeks,and headed off to Rome for honeymoon.

i think they went there for Casaubon's research rather than honeymoon...but whatever.

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then the story move on to another pair of sibling: Rosamond and Fred Vincy, the mayor of Middlemarch's kids...

Rosamond is supposedly even more pretty and graceful than Dorothea..sort of like the number1 woman to marry in Middlemarch...guys literally fall head over heels for her...

then the brother,Fred is a bum.

he didn't finish his degree,and plans to do nothing but living off other people's money..

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Rosamond is currently trying to pikat this one new-comer in the village,a doctor named Mr.Lydgate.

it's going well i'd say..she so pretty,by merely looking each other for 2seconds he's fall for her lah...

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i don't feel like mentioning the other little parts of the story so far...

there's not much to talk about,only the usual aunties gossiping, uncles worry about their money getting cheated,this sort of thing...

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i find myself more atttached to Dorothea's character..

sometimes i felt so relatable to her.

the thirst for knowledge...the urge to speak up...the boredom and frustration one gets when you have all these ideas and things to say but when you say it,the other party just go:'exactly' or 'i agree with you' and the whole conversations just ends 'cause since there's no contradiction or a second opinion on something we're talking about...

the wanting to find a guy whom you find interesting to spend time with..and the desire to go places...

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nevertheless i disagree with her,marrying Casaubon so suddenly....

i see her 'love' for him as a simple, young girl's lust for adventure and education.

and i dislike how she made herself seem smaller than anything when Casaubon's around,

i know how knowledgable the man is,but she's not that stupid to agree with him all the time...

it's like suddenly she became this bimbo that doesn't even know logic and common sense...

a bimbo when she's not even blonde to begin with...

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i do feel that in some areas Casaubon really tried to compromise to Dorothea,and that is nice to see,but the problem is Dorothea's obsession of blending into Casaubon's lifestyle.

i mean,people ask you to be picky about something,be your usual self and be picky lah!

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as much i feel relatable to Dorothea, i'm not the sort who would want to find a man so much more superior than i am that i let myself lost my sense of dignity,and forgot that although i might not have learnt as much as he did,i'm still an educated woman myself.

i don't want to marry only to become a helper/assistant/maid to my husband's needs.

i don't mean that i want solitude in my marriage,

it's just that i want to find someone who is as clingy as i am,but in a different aspect,

as in we have the need of something from each other that we ourselves do not have.

the whole point of relationships is to find someone that completes you,no?

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yea.

lots of opinions about this book.

made: handbag/camera bag!

so a few months ago,i've finally purchased my fujifilm instax camera ^^

then i realize that...the device does not come with a case...

and the box is.....disintegrating :s

so there i was, with an ugly box where my awesome camera was encased in it.

have to say i felt quite awful looking at it.

but since i have some time off from school(plenty of time off),

i've decided to knit a bag.

yes.

KNIT.

crochet.

BAG.

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the original plan was to knit a simple case for my instax...

but being the nut-ish person that i am,

i started asking all the what-ifs...

what if,

i make a pocket for my films...

what-if,

i wanted to go on a picture-taking quest,

i can't bring a knapsack through every corner and every hole..

what-if,

i want to go out,light-weight

(my backpack is kinda...heavy-weight...if you've seen my usual bag that i bring out)

then the camera bag would need pockets for money, cards, phone, sanitary pads(VERY IMPORTANT),

tissue,

BANDANA(eexxtremely important!).

so one idea leads to another and i'll just save my crap to myself and let you see what i ended up doing lah.

here goes:

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top view~

as you can see,i've allocated some space as my tissue+bandana+spectacles pocket

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front view is the prettiest ^^

the little pink square is actually a make-shift cover thingy i've made for the close-up lense that came with my instax..

pink and cute,no? :P

pockets for the important things a girl like me needs to bring along whenever i go out...

good thing i'm not in the 'make-up' stage yet,

'cause this bag could only take an extra lip balm,and maybe a compact powder thingamajig.

that's about it.

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but then!

sometimes i don't want to be girly(usually).

sometimes i don't feel like a mini handbag is enough for me(i need space).

so would my camera be left in my backpack case-less,vulnerable to the sharp things i have in my bag?

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HELL NO!

you see, i've made a detachable bag for the camera ^^

so now my camera is safe no matter what mood i'm in...

oya i've even made a pocket for my films in my camera pouch...

to put my beautifully(fingers crossed) taken instant pictures.

and this is what's left of my handbag,without the camera pouch...

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end.

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nice right? v(^o^)v

just in case you're wondering,

it took me about one month to finish it...

buttons cost me RM14.

initially started with 6balls/bundles of yarn that costs RM1.80 each('cause i'm too cheap to buy the better quality yarns),

but i have like...4 balls of partially used yarn left...

and a partially blistered finger

(partially blistered=it's a bit painful 'cause a blister is starting to form,but i tear up the epidermis to prevent it from successfully form a proper blister...kinda stupid,but i will not let anything get in my way of finishing my project!)

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all in all,

i've only spent RM14 to make this thing,

'cause my dad sponsored the yarn.. ^o^

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imagine how much i would've need to spend if i was to bluntly walk into a shop to buy a camera bag for the camera!

a bag that looks ugly and unoriginal some more!!

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i am proud.

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so proud.

my current project involves...

buttons.

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anticipate it.

Great Wall of blog-entries

i have no idea how long have i been gone from the blogsphere,too lazy to check anyway..

so these couple of days i baked again. and failed.

my sponge cake turned out to be a rock cake.

hard as wood.

minitart worked,
big tart failed...i put too much fruits on it that the they start watering,

and the tart absorbed the juice which made it mushy...

my mum kept saying the crust were uncooked when IT EFFIN' IS and it's annoying.

i baked the crust first before adding the topping. it's literally against the law of nature and science for it to be even slightly uncooked.

anyway, i had to cut them into slices and bake them again to harden those mushy pastry parts.

and i burnt some of them.

my dad was being super supportive and gave me loads of good reviews,which was good and bad at the same time 'cause that actually accentuated my mum's criticism on my food.

this is so depressing.

i wanna quit baking.

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i forgot to bring Lola for her second vaccination...we went 10 days later than scheduled.

the centre was empty when we got there...looked deserted.

and the vet almost looked.....sad and lonely.

i feel bad for him,coming to work in this big empty office all alone,everyday...

i realized the silence and the blank-ness 'cause i took Loco to a different vet for his vaccination,

and Loco's vet centre has 3-4 assistants..the clinic looked very homey and warm,with snacks for visiting owners and their dogs...very nice...

complete opposite of Lola's vet.

Lola's vet has the most simple-looking clinic you can find...there's no furniture,no posters showing information on animals n stuff...there was an operation room,and his office.

i didn't see his gang-member look-alike assistant there yesterday..

such difference...

it almost made me tear up..

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did some thinking these few days..

thought about how i have only 2months left of holiday,

and i haven't been doing much with my time.

haven't been to a lot of places.

haven't seen much of the world.

there's too much things to do to fit in 62 days...

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i thought about my house,

about how i've managed to live through 3months of construction noises...

how i lived through days with almost no privacy at home...

dirt,dust..everywhere.

just two more weeks before finally able to moved back to my room.

by the way, after the feud my parents had with my sucky neighbour,

those extra space we thought we're gonna get ended up not happening,

my room ended up being shrunk.

not that i should be very hurt,i'm not feeling anything much really,

now all i really want is to have a room to myself again.

i hate being stared at while i sleep.

and i'm the one that wakes up the latest in the family these days,not being stared is probably not feasible..

i don't want to sleep next to wet clothes and have my undergarments torn by Lola the very next morning anymore.

she only likes to ruin mine,how strange is that.

she must've liked how my butt smells like. +___+

good thing i don't spend much on those garments.

her hundreds of kisses on my lips every morning just ain't gonna make up for the holes on my panties any longer.

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money.

i know how to save up for rainy days,

but what about those times when i just feel like pampering myself?

i feel guilty when i make purchases,questioning myself if it's worth my money...

not working has definitely increase the guilt i feel.

no input,only output.

the equation is not balanced.

i feel so spoiled.

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when i graduate,and got a job,

i'm gonna start out broke.

i don't know if i'll be able to manage my money well.

what if i overspent on things i don't need,and neglect things that actually matters?

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how am i going to adjust to working life,considering the fact that i haven't really HAD a job in a foreign place, by myself before.

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what if i end up as the idiotic one everybody hates in the office.

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i don't like making friends with the idea of starting a relationship in mind.

i think that's just plain ignorant. and shallow.

jahil.

it's not like all women have to end up with the men they meet.

get married have babies and the end.

what's so special in that?

marriage.

poppycocks.

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mind-games,i don't like.

it's like,u have to think a lot about what you tell the other person so they don't misunderstand.

it's tiring.

i just want to get to know people.

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why can't the world be consist of only one gender.

that way we could all be friends with no hidden agendas.

you want to fuck?

go find some plant and fertilize your womb with its seeds.

every pregnancy will be intended,abortion would not be necessary.

neither is marriage,since they'll probably end up with a divorce anyway.

come to think of it, the purpose of a marriage is to legalize and establish the identity of the offspring, whether the parents like each other or not.

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i'm quite positive that i want to live out my life alone.

i'm fishing myself out of the ocean.

an aquarium sounds pretty good if it's big enough relative to my size,with loads of corals and sea anemone....seaweed. seashells. caves. sunken ships with hidden treasures.

an environment that is interesting,yet safe.

i don't mind aging as an old virgin with two or three dogs up in a mountain.

and that's that.

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i've been knitting...

am planning to make a pouch for my instax..

then a bag for my pouch for my instax.

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i'd even bought a tripod for it..

now my camera is complete.

all i need to do is to practise my picture-taking skills.

can't waste my films anymore. they're expensive.

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i finally got my Simple Plan cd yesterday :)

people don't get why i like them so much(even more than i like Dong Bang Shin Ki)..

some purposely refuse to listen to their songs just because i like them...(she'll know what exactly i'm talking about +____+)

.

i can't really explain why i especially like Simple Plan.

maybe because all the other songs by all the other artists made sense to me,

but i couldn't relate to it.

let's face it,

i don't know speck about how much you can love a person that you feel his/her presence wherever you are,

nor how it feels like to have so much confidence in yourself that nothing that anyone tells you would bring you down.

.

i know myself,

i'm confident in myself,

but sometimes i could be fragile and anything that came in my way just crushes me.

and those times are the time when i'm lost,and have no one to turn to.

those are the times,when i switch on my mp3,and their song came on,and everything seems ok,

and every word they sang made me feel like i'm not the only one that goes through this.

i realized that all these are what makes us grow up.

the ups and downs that nobody can escape.

to learn that even if the world seemed like it's crumbling down at this moment,it's not.

.

but perhaps i just found myself the sort of music that suited my current point in life.

.

anyway, i love all the songs in their current album.

especially this song. it just says all i want to say:

feel like crying everytime i listen to it.

GOT BANGS! XD

made my hair scrunchy~

so i got a couple of bundles of yarn...

made strips of Sour Chew look-alikes...

cross-stitched the strips together...

sew on some flowers and leaves and stuff...

sew the other two ends together...

and i realised that it's not long enough so i added extra length to my tube...

knitted a loooong ribbon....3 rows of 309stitches of crochet to be exact...

sew it onto my tube,

insert rubber strip into it,

sew the opening shut,

touched-up a little more and i'm done at last!

three...long....days...of knitting and sewing...

my Home Economics teachers would be so proud if they'd see this...

i think i'll call my scrunchy..."Two-Faced"...

'cause it has two faces ^____^

hohoho~~~