men and magic.

yesterday another one of my aunts asked me:

WHEN ARE YOU GONNA BRING YOUR BOYFRIEND HERE TO SHOW ME?!

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then she went on and on and on about how ridiculous us youth these days are,accepting lesbians and gays...and then talked about how she always see girls my age going out with only t-shirt and jeans and how nonsensical it is when we have the youth and body(err..ya) to wear pretty clothes...and how we girls that are slightly more educated should really groom ourselves better...

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then she took some dresses from the racks(we were in her boutique,you see) and kept asking me if i like them or not and how i should try them on...and when i say i don't want to she'll say "girls these days...don't wear dresses...don't know what's wrong with you people" etc

..and then we(mum and i) left the boutique with free clothes (actually i got free clothes,mum has to pay for her jeans XP)...

and i was thinking: hmmm...maybe i should continue this "i only wear jeans and t-shirt thing" whenever i go visit...then i could get free clothes everytime i'm there..

HAHA!

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XD

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but anyway..

i know myself very well.

1)i'm not very sociable,i don't know what to talk about with people most of the time,so i shut up.

2)i rarely have things in common with people,especially guys.

3)i'm very introvert,more of the type that literally creates a world in her head and not do anything much in real life.

4)random...probably not the kind of random that everyone thinks...

and you know how your parents and teachers in your kindergarden used to tells you to never talk to strangers?yea i took that to the heart,and engrave those words to my brain.

5)strangers are dangerous.

6)cooking and i are like square pegs and round holes...you can't force us together,ever.

7)my ideal day involves being dragged around to places.

8)i allocate 1/3 of my time studying(when school starts)...1/3 spent lying down on the couch like a dead piece of meat in front of the tv...and 1/3 remaining on the ridiculously random/stupid things i do 'cause i got bored.

9)i don't like to have the same interest as others because i don't really like to talk about the details of it. i like what i like because i like it. it's basically the whole story of why i like what i like.

10)i have the attention+interest span of a bird. one moment i like to do A,the next moment i like B...and when i got enough of B i like C...i get bored very easily.

11)don't get me started on how clumsy i am.

12)there's really only two modes i have in me: a)almost-completely unrelatable, b) clingy. either i stay away from you,or stick as closely to you as i have the chance to. it's that simple.

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the only thing that probably prevents me from getting a boyfriend is myself.

have you been reading,i'm the perfect example of a freak.

which part of me look like a girlfriend-material to you???

plus you can't just go around pasting up flyers saying "BOYFRIEND WANTED!" and expect to land yourself a soulmate.

absurd.

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maybe...i should go visit some psych-ward/facility and see if any crazy guy wants me...

that'll be so exciting.

then bring him home and terrorize the house...terrorize my aunt's boutique...

then let him rip me apart and we die together in flames.

yyyyeeeea.

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okay seriously.

people make lists of their ideal partner and work out ways to find him/her from there.

well if i were to make a list on that,

i want a guy who know's his stuff,doesn't dream too big that he ends up spending his life bitterly ranting on how he couldn't reach his goal.

someone who has a good sense of humor,like Colin Morgan,Bradley James,George Clooney,Matt Damon,Ryan Reynolds...i need something to do/talk about with him or it'll get boring and who knows what happens when either one of us got bored.

i'd definitely want to be smaller-built than him. i spent my whole life being bigger than my friends that i have anxiety over how big i am...so obviously,i'd settle for a Bradley James anytime,without complaining.

...ya that's about all i need.

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the way i see it, my 'soulmate' doesn't exists.

and i'm trying to settle into the fact that i'll die an old virgin with 3 dogs in the mountains and the mindset is progressing really well...i'm accepting that fact.

but occasionally i still feel the pressure,both from peers and family...which is to me,something very wrong.

nobody should be pressured into a relationship.

it would be nice if they just let me be how i want myself to live,as a person.

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is it only me or is this situation really happening in the world?:

when a guy stays single,maybe he's well-groomed and is successful,most people just concluded that he's taking his time,scanning through properly and he'll soon find his girl for sure.

if a woman,also looks fairly good(biologically most women do,i realized) and is successful, if she's single, most people start asking the same thing..."what's wrong with her? any freaky pet peeves?"

it's like no matter how hard we women try,how much we excel in academics or careers,if we're alone,we technically failed a big part of our lives..

and it hurts.

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if you'd been reading carefully you'll see that i mentioned some names slightly more frequent than the rest earlier.

recently i got obsessed with the Merlin series...

i love stories on centuries old characters...

and gotta love the setting and landscape,unpolluted land,adventure,sword-fights, magical creatures, and the macho-ness men used to have back in the medieval times...

(i'm being honest..those guys are so hot)

Bradley James~ (*-*)

then i noticed how much i like stories on magic and fantasies...

the other day, i was moving all my stuff back to my room(reconstruction work on my house is finally complete),and i find that i have more books on fantasy than everything else i read/used to read.

44books...out of the total of 138books that i've read since my very first novel back in the 90's...

44 includes the basic stuff: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings,fairy tales....i was also quite into the Charmed series.

there's a certain adventure-like experience i have,reading those books...you can never really predict exactly what happens as your read...

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i guess fantasy books to me are as what comic books are to little girls and boys...