relatives and gatherings.

omg it's cny again.
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it feels like only yesterday i put on my pink dress for the very first time and my red strap-y heels and head out to that temple my family and i visit every first day of chinese new year,
where, again, i wished for nothing while silently pretend that i'm praying to the majestic Guan Yin statue along with other Buddhist devotees...
when i'm actually saying 'hello Guan Yin...' before spacing out for the next 10seconds before getting up from that little stool thingy.
.
i'd still haven't figure out what i want to wear on 23.1 though...
the effects of too many new clothes...
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another year of cny cookies..
another year of cny dishes that that will take us 1 week to clear off...
another year of weight gaining...
another year of staying at home in front of the telly...
another year of people saying 'wahh slim down d hoorh!!' when i've actually, gained weight instead of losing them.
another year of relatives asking my mum 'eyh your daughter got boyprenn d ar?????' *goosebumps+shivers+shrugs*
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...ouh...the horror.
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i need a scientist.
to clone myself a male version of me...
wouldn't that be awesome though..
that way you'd know exactly what kind of a boy/girlfriend you'd want to be for yourself and be the perfect partner to..well..your partner.
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i do feel like i'm a genius sometimes...for coming up with such ideas...
i just don't have the resources to realise my imaginations.
.
but anyway.
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i realize that men, like women, do not speak their mind...
the difference between us all is that while women jumble up everything that they want with things they don't want and qualities they just can't make up their mind on,
all into one package,
men have prepared two packages to choose from:
1)the hot and spicy girlfriend
2)the gentle and caring wife
(i've been watching a lot tv since exam ended..honest to Buddha talk shows brought up this topic quite often these days)
it made me doubt guys when they say: "i want my girlfriend to be confident just the way she is, not like those slutty-looking girls with thick make-up and clothes that doesn't seem to cover anything."
because i realize that a lot of the times, it's those kind of girls that have an endless string of boy-toys+pimps,
while the well-trained, well-mannered ladies are the ones that ended up spending their friday and saturday nights in front of the tv with a tub of baskin robbins. (if they're not spending time with their girlfriends, who...well..are in the exact position as she is)
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why is that?
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so i say...as much as guys have doubts about what girls mean when they say something, i have doubts on what the guys actually mean when they say what's 'apparently' in their conscious minds.
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i think....i feel that,
what i really want for myself is neither a check-list, nor a ticking time-bomb.
all i want is loyalty, presence, commitment, with a hint of spontaneity...besides a healthy looking physique(obviously)
it's hard to find all the 5 in one guy.
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thus, i am patiently waiting for the day arnold schwarzenegger goes back in time to save that scientist that discovered a way to clone people.
(yes, i've watched Terminator and and The 6th Day and decided to combine the two movies into one sentence.)
to hell with that shortened lifespan stuff.
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it's just so unfortunate that my patience will be constantly tested by my aunties, grand-aunts, mum's friends, and prolly my grandmother as well...