guess what!

i loss 0.8kg today...YES. today....
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then i ate a mango,
a box(it was in a tapau box) of fish cordon blue,
and a few spoonfuls of bubur cha cha..(bubur..cacar...chacha...caca?.....nvm)
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i don't dare to return to the weighing scale now....
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so i visited a children's protection home today,
it's where all the abused/traumatized kids are sent to to get them to safety...
.....
i helped clean up a storeroom @@
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no i did not play with the children...
yes i know it's ironic that i went to a children's home and not interact with any child there.
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i guess i had cold feet,
it made me doubt myself.
what if they didn't like me?
i could ruin their day by just being there with them....
don't get me wrong, i like kids...
i just don't know how to initiate interactions with them,
since...i'm already struggling to interact with grown ups +___+
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maybe.....i shouldn't have kids in the future..
what if i went: O.O to my child,
and my kid goes O.O back at me,
and we'd be O.O-ing with each other all day long,
only to end the day with the child crying hysterically while screaming,'mummy don't stare at me anymore!!!!~~~~'
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O.O
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anyway, my family's adopting yet ANOTHER puppy..
american bulldog this time...
i guess my parents suddenly see the need to own a guard dog,
after Lucky left....
and because Lulu's aging...
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life is cruel, isn't it...
when you get to know someone,
he/she will start leaving you.
so you thought,'hey, time is precious.'
so you make a lot of friends, trying to grab the opportunity to get to know more people while you're alive.
but then, you might ended up knowing the wrong type of people, and ruined all the goodness you've had in you.
so...either way, you'd end up alone.
and when you finally died, you had to walk on to the next realm-whatever it may be-alone.