i was randomly scrolling my news feed on fb today,
and was just thinking about the people we meet in life,
and how we depart with them.
correction.
how I depart with them.
.
made me wonder if my life is simply more mediocre than everyone else's,
or i just choose to be a little less dramatic than anyone can ever be.
because i can never recall being (extremely) emotionally attached to anything in my past.
things come and go, so do people. that's what i think.
the level of sadness/anger/disappointment that you feel towards it,
is entirely up to you to decide.
so why trouble yourself with the fact and ruin what you CAN control (which, evidently, is you and you alone.)
.
a little corner in my mind does want to be a little more adventurous though, frankly speaking.
we are the children of cheesy soap operas and awful hong kong dramas,
how can we ever stay away from the desire to cause a scene, make a mess of our lives,
and hope that miraculously everything turns out to be alright every single time,
just as predictable as those idiotic last episodes of those good-for-nothing dramas.
.
don't get me wrong, i personally grew up watching hong kong dramas,
and spent almost a third of my adolescence watching taiwan idol dramas,
i just think that the quality of their stories has plunged so low that i don't think that it's advisable for me to watch them anymore,
without feeling like throwing a hammer towards the tv.
i'm not that rich, yet.
but even if i am (one day...one day),
i wouldn't waste a good hammer and an awesome home-theater-set on shitty broadcast of a shitty tale.
a complete waste of my precious time.
.
went a little off-topic i think.
but anyway.
.
i open my account everyday,
and see friends/acquaintances/people-that-i-don't-actually-know-how-i'd-added-them-to-my-friends-list
post things that i would say in my mind, but never verbally.
the regret the anger the frustrations,
all posted onto the virtual void,
as if people would really care about their opinions and share their pain.
i, for one, wouldn't.
because if you take a step back from yourself and look at what you're saying from a bird's eye view,
you'd see the logic behind it,
and understand that yes, you're frustrated,
but posting random things on random places wouldn't help lighten your frustration,
instead it doubles, triples, heck, QUADRUPLES it,
when people actually leave comments and 'liked' those posts,
and you're obliged to go back to that page and view what you've posted again and again.
and reply to their comments, indirectly adding fuel to your fire.
shit happens to everyone, everyday.
no one is exempted from feeling like a speck of dirt sometimes.
it's just how living a balanced life is.
i realized that fact recently,
that although it does make you feel over the moon when you share a good news and people share your happiness,
social sites isn't a place to rant and sulk and expect to feel better from it,
those sites just rub salt into your wounds.
even if there are comment showing concerns about your postings,
is it sincere, or did it came out of convenience.
since someone had scrolled upon your stuff on their news feed,
anyone with a heart would comment out of pity.
yes,
it's THAT convenient to be a good guy in the virtual world.
.
i would tell the people closest to me personally if something really bugs me.
instead of posting it on the internet for the world to see how ugly i can get when i'm upset.
.
i guess maybe that's why my life is a little less dramatic than everybody else's.
.
go to school,
study hard,
pass the exams,
grow up,
be a responsible adult,
get a job,
meet a guy,
get married one day,
have kids,
teach them to do the very same thing,
grow old,
retire,
and die.
.
i wonder if that's all there is in my life.
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