sickishly well enough to update

sickishly..lol...
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korean class first meeting tomorow :3
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God.
frankly i don't fully believe His existance...
i can't see it,you know?
how do you know he's there,watching over you?
and how did we find our way into thinking that 'it's His way of showing us towards a path greater than the one we're on' whenever something bad happened to us...
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one side of me,
like a lot of people,
believe that maybe,
there IS an almighty being,guarding us..
watching over us.
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the other side,
well,
is rational...
noone can ever be unlucky for the rest of their lives,
when we do something bad,it's obvious that we have to suffer the consequences...
as we speak,our personal informations are floating around freely in the virtual space(internet), where hackers can freely pick on either one of our identities to prey on..
so we dun need to be a fortune teller to know what kind of person we are..
when you're optimistic,everything appears to be more bearable although it may still be hard.
microorganisms are everywhere,who's to say they won't (somehow) find their way into your body and make you sick?
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landslides,earthquakes,tsunamis,
they don't happen because fengshui's bad, God's angry, someone did something taboo-ed.
WE cause them to happen.
you can't expect the ground to hold themselves together while you happily go into the jungle and chop down trees and burn their roots...
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gambling is a form of mathematics,a test on probability to be exact,so if you're bad at math to begin with,how do you expect yourself to strike the lottery everytime you gamble???
foolish..
not knowing the field,
and yet push yourself into it,
lose the bet,
then blame your awful luck.
blame the God for not being by your side as you waste your wealth away...
what's God have to do with how bad your math is???
...don't you dare blame your parents now..
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are we that pathetic that we always end up blaming something that maybe (just maybe) is made up by our ancestors to remove guilt,and the pressure to be a better person?
how long are we going to continue lying to ourselves.