siao eh.

i realised that i'm the kind of person that won't be satisfied until something happens to me.
no seriously.
it's like this voice in my heart keeps saying 'let today be an eventful day,may my day be full of agendas,be it good or bad.'
.
i seem to be happier when i'm busy..
probably 'cause i don't think as much as i occasionally do,when i'm busy completing other tasks...
no time to think about food or music or how noisy those birds outside my windows are(figuratively speaking.)
and no time to over-think,things.
.
honestly, i can't be left with nothing to do.
i'll space out.
don't get me wrong,spacing out is awesome.
love spacing out.
but when i'm finally done with that,
i'll start to scan through everything. tho.rough.ly.
.
let say....i tripped and fell (not real eyh,merely an example. i'm fine. no holes no leakage)
now if i have two..three hours of free period,
i'd end up scrutinizing everything related to the incident.
why did i trip.
how did i fall.
who was there to witness it.
how much it hurt.
how embarassing that made me feel.
how long it'll haunt me.
how could i be so clumsy.
.
things like that.
and then i'll be depressed.
emo emo emo.
bad mood bad mood bad mood.
then i'll probably write something about it in my diary.
and if it's not enough, i might even blog about it.
basically caught in an infinite loop of my sudden misery lah.
.
then i'll lose any kind of interest that i used to have in my studies.
OR
suddenly be extra hardworking and finish up everything i need to do in the shortest time possible.
either one of those extreme points.
my thought at that particular period of time would be: since i'm useless in so many things anyway, might as well study good good. at least i'll have one skill i can be proud of.
.
haha. 'study good good'. :P
.
i think,
my motto should be...
'quietly destructive'...(adapted from HTC's 'quietly brilliant')
pioneer in the art of self-destruction.
innovative,no?