how strange is strange?

i consider myself as.......uncategorized.
i feel normal,then again sometimes i feel out-of-tune with normality.
.
i started thinking last night,(while having trouble sleeping)
what if...i'm meant for something different than what most people are meant to do in their lives.
i could be wrong about it,
maybe i'm just another silly girl with her head filled with fantasies and silly things like pixie dust.
but what if i'm not?
.
it could be my way of comforting myself.
when something goes wrong,
i would tell myself,'it's not your thing',
'not meant for you'.
what else is there to say,right?
that things would turn out better if i try harder?
that it will definitely be a happy ending if i change this,or that...here,or there?
how do i know if i've tried my very best?
'cause i can never tell if my best is really my best at all...
.
is it a good thing,
when you start making assumptions about your future,
having the complete picture of how your life will turn out to be,
even before you graduate from your studies?
'cause those images of my 'hypothetical future' are getting clearer and clearer as time passes.
then i start to wonder if this is what i wanted for myself.
these,'premonitions',
am i willing to accept this reality that doesn't exist at the moment.
realize it.
will i be happy then?
.
how happy should one be to be considered as 'living a happy life'.
i think...probably...
when a person is truly satisfied with his/her life,
he/she wouldn't be asking him/herself such question,no?
.
then am i far from living in a 'happy life'?
how happy,is happy?