today, an ex-classmate of mine came over,
and gave me the invitation card to her wedding.
it kind of woke me up to the fact that i can't push away these things from me forever..
relationships and stuff..
.
she's doing her ACCA..
has 5 papers left to take, then she'll get her accountancy degree, licence..whatever thingamajig that you get at the end of ACCA...
but she told me, she's gonna take some time off,
work a little,
start a family,
and when the time is right, she'll go back to school and complete her studies...
.
it made me think,
about where i am, in my journey.
.
what are my plans, besides getting my degree and masters..
.
where am i going in my life?
.
who am i gonna spend my life with.
alone, seriously?
with three dogs, really?
up in the mountains?
you're really buying that?
really?
.
frankly, i'm not so sure anymore...
.
my schoolmates are all over the world,
studying, working, holiday, enjoying life.
some are engaged,
some got married,
some divorced.
and all of these happened while i'm in school, staying oblivious and ignorant about all of it.
playing make-believe with myself that all that, can wait till i graduate.
.
i was wrong, wasn't i...
.
suddenly 21 sounds like a huge number.
back in the olden days, i would've been married for a few years by 21,
and might have given birth to a couple of toddlers...
.
then again, i'm living in a modern world,
where women are now given more recognition for their capabilities and things we can do...
the age where 'girl power' actually means something more than a cheesy catch-phrase..
.
so am i gonna succumb to tradition, that all women must find a husband to support themselves,
or go with the flow that i, as a young, modern woman, should fight for my rightful spot on the status quo of the new-age society...
.
looks like i've made my choice to stand alone on this stage of my life..
to move towards supporting myself and towards the sort of security i want to gain from being able to take care of myself...
.
then i thought, what will a husband means, to me.
since i don't hope for a full financial support,
nor am i looking for the perfect genes to make beautiful babies with...
or buy me houses...and expensive cars...
so....is marriage, something that i have planned sub-consciously in my mind?
*scans brain for any program linked to 'marriage' *
probably not...
.
then won't my life be a wee bit too boring?
working all the time,
and spending money on my spare time, when i'm not working my flat-butt off...
.
kids...kids are cute..
but then...what if i'm not a good parent?
i don't wanna be responsible for ruining a child's life...
.
why am i here in the first place?
bill gates invented the computer,
mark zuckerberg made facebook when he's in college,
steve jobs had always knew what he wanted to do in life...
how about me?
i don't know what the hell i want to do in my life...
besides playing with toxic and potentially mutate animals and (maybe) humans...
No comments:
Post a Comment