hello ^^

i wish i could say,"long time no see~"...
but i can't see you, only you can see, well, kind of, er...me.
.
so i've been gone for a while,
been here and there these days...
changed something, updated some stuff...
.....nothing much really XP
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i did have some new questions that i've been thinking about,
based on the changes that i've been going through.
(those who knows me personally would know what kind of changes i'm talking about...)
but anyway.
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there are some things that i've realized about myself,
something that i never knew i was, until now.
....and i will cut the crap and tell you now. O_O
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you know the time when you were young,
when you think about your future, and the 'what if's.
you think about things you're gonna do,
words you're gonna say,
places you're gonna go,
people you're gonna meet...
well, how often do we actually do what we planned for ourselves?
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for me...i think i live a double life,
one in my head, the other in the real world.
one fantasy, the other reality.
kind of like alice in wonderland.......sort of.
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i realized that i'm not as open-minded and easy-going as i thought.
and it made me feel kind of bad, not for myself though,
but for something, or someone else.
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hmm.
.
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another thing i thought about,
is how, and what am i going to blog about from now on...
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if i have an opinion,
do i talk to someone, now that i have one...
or do i blog....
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i can't do both, God knows how much i hate repetitions..
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if i blog about something personal,
will that be okay?
if i don't blog about something personal,
wouldn't that indirectly affects my freedom of speech (er...ya freedom of speech.)?
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and i can't camwhore all the time +_+
my blog is not a photo album of my vain self...
.
.
.
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so many things to think about...
will figure that out before my next entry...