moodswing

I have this feeling at the back of my head,

That I was never meant to be happy.

Even if there is an inkling of happiness I forced out to myself,

A wave of darkness would sweep past it a moment later.

.

I tried.

I tried very hard, for so many times.

But I just couldn't be happy.

I can't even trick myself into believing at my life is a happy one.

.

Sometimes I try to make people change to make me happy,

Sometimes I try to please others to see if I could be happier.

But nothing works.

.

I simply, can't be happy.

.

Now I just feel like I should leave everybody alone,

'Cause everyone else seemed to be living except for me.

And I feel like I'm becoming more like a burden by staying in their lives.

.

If I can't make anyone happy,

If my unhappiness caused pain to others,

Then I don't deserve to have anyone,

To be with anyone at all.

.

Maybe I should just let go..